Survival Tips - Part IV
Qs. I am 18 years old and have many friends including boys. But my parents are very orthodox and whenever they see some boy come to my house , they think that I’ll marry him or elope with him !! How do I tackle this situation !!
Ans. Well girl ! this is a very common occurrence in India. You see our parents and grand parents had a very backward kind of life – just some 60 –70 years ago , girls used to get married by the time they reached their puberty – ie. by 14. Later as the society developed, girls were educated – but in ‘Only girls’ school – away from boys..its only recently – lets say around 1950’s that co-education was allowed and boys and girls could talk freely etc.
But you see – initially the man and the woman met alone for the first time – only on the first night – after marriage ! And we all know what happens on the first night – they dive straight for the bed and start exploring each other’s…bodies. Such memories cannot be erased so easily – they have this tendency to believe and judge the youths according to their standards ! They themselves had no freedom to express their thoughts so freely with girls – only wives knew the deeper secrets and fantasies of her husband and vice versa. Thus they judge us by their standards – the fact that we have grown up in so much of an open society and have been to co-ed schools since childhood … and that it does not make any difference to many of us to discuss about anything on earth with either boy or girl is beyond their comprehension !!They mostly think that the only relationship between a stranger boy and girl can be of ‘sex’ and which should be after marriage ! Thus there have been many families in India – who have badly suffered from this contradictory state of affairs – from the complete ‘mind-set’ mismatch between the older and younger generation people …which is also termed as generation gap!!
So the best thing that I can suggest you is – do not bring home your boy friends if it causes tension in the family . Home is a place to relax – if you have identified that certain things bring about unrest in the family – then its better to avoid it instead of fighting and quarrelling on this – they will never understand – never – this is called ‘mental block’ which are very difficult to give up – when you become a Mother – your children will be belonging to a different – either evolved or dissolved generation – it might so happen that even you will find it difficult to tolerate their behavioral patterns at that point of time …this is what has been happening since eons – if you notice !
Ans. Well girl ! this is a very common occurrence in India. You see our parents and grand parents had a very backward kind of life – just some 60 –70 years ago , girls used to get married by the time they reached their puberty – ie. by 14. Later as the society developed, girls were educated – but in ‘Only girls’ school – away from boys..its only recently – lets say around 1950’s that co-education was allowed and boys and girls could talk freely etc.
But you see – initially the man and the woman met alone for the first time – only on the first night – after marriage ! And we all know what happens on the first night – they dive straight for the bed and start exploring each other’s…bodies. Such memories cannot be erased so easily – they have this tendency to believe and judge the youths according to their standards ! They themselves had no freedom to express their thoughts so freely with girls – only wives knew the deeper secrets and fantasies of her husband and vice versa. Thus they judge us by their standards – the fact that we have grown up in so much of an open society and have been to co-ed schools since childhood … and that it does not make any difference to many of us to discuss about anything on earth with either boy or girl is beyond their comprehension !!They mostly think that the only relationship between a stranger boy and girl can be of ‘sex’ and which should be after marriage ! Thus there have been many families in India – who have badly suffered from this contradictory state of affairs – from the complete ‘mind-set’ mismatch between the older and younger generation people …which is also termed as generation gap!!
So the best thing that I can suggest you is – do not bring home your boy friends if it causes tension in the family . Home is a place to relax – if you have identified that certain things bring about unrest in the family – then its better to avoid it instead of fighting and quarrelling on this – they will never understand – never – this is called ‘mental block’ which are very difficult to give up – when you become a Mother – your children will be belonging to a different – either evolved or dissolved generation – it might so happen that even you will find it difficult to tolerate their behavioral patterns at that point of time …this is what has been happening since eons – if you notice !
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